- Oh aye, very funny! By then Arsenal will have bought your best two players.
- No way! Arsenal are bidding for everyone who's decent......none of your players, of course.
- Well, we're just bedding in. Malky's finding the right team and formation.....besides, we're going to sign another couple before the deadline.
- You'll need more than a couple, you'll need.......
- So what was your first result this season then?
- Yeah, against Man U and not West-bloody-Ham!
- Still, you were at home.
- We'll see......you'll be down by Christmas I reckon.
- You never know, we could have some wonder-kid coming up through the ranks, say that Rhys Healey, or even.......
- That Etien Veronica? Scores shitloads for the Under 17s and cost the same as Michu.
- Bloody 'ell mun, you certainly know your Bluebirds.
- Yeah, I used to support them, before they starting losing!
( This conversation takes place in somewhere like Aberdare, where there are Bluebirds & Swans).
Don't think I've ever felt such thrill and trepidation before the first Home game.
It's like my younger daughter on the high ropes of Aerial Extreme, balancing way above the ground, yet afraid of falling despite the harness.
( Our harness is knowing that, with the parachute payment, we'll most likely come straight back up if we should go down this season........but I'd rather not speculate.)
I know we're not as well equipped as rivals Swansea were, despite being Champions to their play-off victory.
They've played possession football a la Barcelona for years, while we've relied on teamwork, resilient defence and brilliance from Marshall, Kim and occasionally Bellers, Whitts and Noone.
Realistically, I ought to be totally pessimistic.
However, I believe we'll do okay once we've settled in, found the right formation, selected the right players and signed a couple more (hopefully a striker and winger).
Some of my wariness comes from manager Malky Mackay. He is undoubtedly one of our best ever, yet reluctant to get rid of players he signed and who aren't up to the Premier. He must be ruthless and admit that the likes of Kiss, Gestede, Smith and also Velikonja (who has only played a couple of times) need to move on.
Then there's the matter of team selection.
While I can understand playing two holding midfielders away from home (Medel and Gunnarsson the obvious choices), it's a different matter at home.
It's a shame we didn't sign Ince as we definitely need a winger, though Conway and Noone should be given a chance to prove themselves.
At home, he should select one defensive midfielder (Medel) and play either 4-1-4-1 or 4-1-3-2, depending on the opposition.
Having seen nothing of Cornelius yet , I can't judge if he's up to playing a lone striker role, like King Kenny did. Campbell can do the job if he is given enough support and service though.
Kim's position is vital and he must be allowed the freedom to roam 'in the hole', whereas Bellamy could be deployed wide or centrally.
The latter's form is a real worry. He tried so hard all last season, yet was out-of-sorts during the final stretch, in contrast to Conway, whose form improved as the season went on and he gained more upper body strength (most likely from his boxing).
Bellamy needs to be rested occasionally and that will need more strength in depth than we possess at present.
If we could sign either Maloney or Mcmanaman from Wigan I would be delighted, but the likelihood is a player from the Continent such as Montero.
Facing Man City on Sunday will be even more testing than West ham away., especially after their demolition of Newcastle showed how they will be serious challengers for the title alongside Man U and Chelsea.
I was disappointed with Malky's selection v. the Hammers : Brayford or McNaughton(who finished last season in style) should've played at right-back, Hudson alongside Caulker rather than Turner (who is often too slow and a poor passer).
Having said that, I trust our manager to get it right.......eventually.
GET EWSED T LOSIN, MUN
Better get ewsed t losin, mun,
pickin up points when yew cun.
Int no red gonna elp yew out,
before yew know it, down 'n' out.
Yew'll be glad of a bloody goal,
or a 0-0 draw away to Ull.
Ee cun pour in millions tha Vincent Tan,
but-a Premier's ruthless t so many fans.
Yew should plan f nex season like Readin done ;
get-a parachute, ang on t players, mun.
Still, long as yew beat-a Jacks yew say,
does the rest of-a season matter anyway?
Well, one good thing, yew might return t blue,
when ee sells an buggers off in is bright red suit.