We wen inta Spoons down town,
coupla pints before-a serious stuff.
We wuz larfin bout-a news
an all-a jokes on Facebook.
The menu seemed so ordinree
arfta David Cameron's uni club.
'Bloody ell, not much yer!' sayz Lee,
'maybe the cannelloni ud fit!'
'Ow about them onion rings?'
'Nah, they're bound t sting!'
So I go t the bar to order.
'Table number?' she arst. '69.'
An tha's when I go mad -
'Got a pig's ead I cun shag?
Followed by a fat juicy melon....
my butty's more of a frewt marn.'
Tha's when she called-a manager,
oo give me a final warnin.
'Bloody ell mun, this int fair,
if it's good enough f'r-a Prime Minister...'