Dick - My wife's sick o me moanin about im anyway.
Steve - Trollope?
Dick - No need t be so bloody offensive.....Oh aye, exactly! Now we got Warnock, mouthy git, but bloody great in the Championship. Ee'll give em all a good kick up the arse!
Steve - Oo's arse? Yew on about yewer missis agen?
Dick - Anyway, accordin to walesonline, ee've orready signed that Hoilett.
Steve - Yeah, I need to go an all.....I'm bustin!
Dick - Na, Junior Hoilett an tha Sol Bamba apparently.
Steve - I woz never one f dancin much me. As Warnock bin on 'Strictly' then?
Dick - Carn see im doin tha. Jest bloody glad we got rid of Trollope though. My wife'll be appy.
Steve - Oh, so it's orright if yew call er one, is it?
This has been a tumultuous week for Cardiff City FC, my team.
I actually began it blogging about 'Relegation zone blues' and calling for someone like Neil Warnock to take charge ; an experienced manager who has taken seven clubs to promotion from the Championship and who is a renowned motivator of players devoid of confidence.
For the first time in years, it seems like the hierarchy at City have got it right. He appears to be everything we need at this moment.
Confidence had reached an all time low and players who excelled last season , such as Ralls, Immers and Connolly have struggled for form from the very start.
The sale of our adventurous Brazilian full-back Fabio to Middlesbrough scuppered any realistic attempt at playing wing-backs, though Head Coach Paul Trollope still did so, with limited success.
Our entire club was going to mirror the 'Wales Way', without any pace to break like Bale , or guile like Ramsey.
Soon, this was abandoned and Trollope played a kind of 4-3-3 which appeared to lack any fluidity. The players looked baffled and jaded and fans responded at an away defeat at Burton Albion with calls for him to go.
Warnock has brought with him coaches Ronnie Jepson and Kevin Blackwell and should stir the team into playing with pride and passion, as he did with Rotherham last season, saving them from what seemed certain relegation.
Their captain Lee Frecklington described the spirit in the dressing-room as the best ever.
There are many players in our squad seriously under-achieving, not least the captain of Iceland at the Euros Aron Gunnarsson.
I believe Warnock can lift them again and bring back their love of the game; in doing so, the fans will return and we will get behind the team.
Warnock has already stamped his authority on the club, by bringing players in who are badly needed ; all three officially announced this week.
While we totally lacked pace, he has signed winger Junior Hoilett, a Canadian international, who once possessed great promise with Blackburn. And, my son informs me, the only rhyme with 'toilet' ( should be a challenge for my workshops at the stadium!).
While we lacked leadership and power at the back, he has also signed Sol Bamba who, only last season, captained Leeds and is a highly experienced Ivory Coast international.
While our one true striker Rickie Lambert seems very isolated and an injury to him totally disturbs our pattern of play, he has added Marouane Chamakh, once of Arsenal, a player who could either link up with Lambert or replace him, if need be.
These players are all unattached and were looking for clubs. Wages didn't seem a problem and we are looking at Kieran Richardson as well, another ex-international with bags of experience and versatility.
The ponderous and predictable way we played under Trollope produced some of the worst football seen at our stadium ( even worse than the shambles under Solskjaer).
Whatever formation Warnock chooses will derive from the talents ( and limitations) of our squad.
Warnock will not pick players who are clearly struggling, as both Trollope and Russell Slade before him have done ( Noone and Ralls spring to mind).
The play-offs seem a long way away, but most fans will be delighted just to see progress and a team that really cares for the cause.
There's a buzz around. Our season starts again. Just hope I'm not proved wrong!
A WARLOCK IS COMING
He's got the keys to the dungeon.
We've been down here too long.
It's been like the dark days of Durban.
A Troll was in charge of the fortress
and everyone was very depressed,
expecting to do down, the worst.
Now a Warlock's come, a Wizard really,
to show us the light, set us free,
with charms and curses, making us believe.
We'll wear the Bluebird crest
on shielding shirts and helmet caps,
even on lucky pants and vests.