ARRI'S GETTIN MARRIED

Yeard ‘bout Arri up-a street?
Gettin married ee is!
Yew know, one they call ‘Ginger Boy’ –
ee’s a bastard they say.
Not like an orrible person
but a proper one
(nobuddy ginge in is famlee, see).
 
Anyway, is mam’s dead
(really strange circumstances)
an is dad remarried.
Yew know is dad
they d’call im Dumbo - 
ewge sticky-out yers.
 
Ee’s marryin this girl Megan,
she’s from somewhere foreign –
Portugal, America or England.
Fancies erself as a bit of a model
an she woz in tha panto
in-a New Theatre Christmastime,
weird one called ‘Soups’
all about kitchens –
sounds totelee borin.
 
Ev’eryone reckons Arri’s tidee,
fought in Afghanistan,
took-a piss out of em
at-a fancy dress party
wearin a rag’ead turban
(well, better ‘an dressin as a Nazi!).
 
Is grandad’s a miserable ol twat
always slaggin people off
an is grandma’s always dressin up
sif she woz the bloody Queen!
 
Anyway, this Megan’s mega lush
so ev’ryone wants t go to the weddin
no matter ow foreign she is.
Arri drives a BMW an all,
don’ know where is money come from –
reckon ee’s on-a fiddle.    
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