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OH DANNY BOYLE!

7/29/2012

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                      Oh Danny Boyle
                      The sheep, the sheep are bleating
                      From village green
                      To 'Glastonbury Tor'


   These might have been the words of the 'Derry Air' (or is it 'Londonderry Air'?) which summed up the Irish connection in Danny Boyle's vision for the Olympic opening spectacular.
   Cymru was represented by 'Bread of Heaven' (in English, of course) and Scotland by 'Flower of Scotland'; England by William Blake's anti-industrial poem 'Jerusalem'. Cornwall was obviously too small and irrelevant.
   There may well have been a giant daff, thistle etc there, but I failed to spot them.
   All my trepidations were more than realised. This was Boyle's erratic version of British history and culture, by which he means English history and culture.
   As many in Wales have argued for years, the essence of being British is, in fact, Englishness.
   The entire spectacle veered ludicrously  between sub- Monty Python scenes of children trampolining on hospital beds ('That's where all the NHS beds have gone!' my daughter reported from Facebook) and an overall idea like the very worst 1970s concept album, a poor imitation of Pink Floyd as the pastoral scene was rolled away and chimneys sprouted up. Where were the flying pigs?
   This was overseen by a man in a top hat played by Kenneth Branagh , who hasn't moved his face muscles during the entire series of 'Wallander'.
( 'My dad says  - what the fuck is Abraham Lincoln doing at the Olympics?' another Facebook comment).
   Boyle's vision also comprised the worst aspects of the Jubilee propaganda machine. Mrs Windsor was apparently whisked away from her doting corgis by James Bond and jumped from a helicopter into the stadium, like the deity she has become, to ensure that Danny Boyle will get his knighthood.
   His self-glorification continued, as his films 'Trainspotting' and 'Slumdog Millionaire' were projected onto a normal 'British ' house.
   Two black people fell in love in what seemed like a parody of 'Romeo and Juliet' (ethnic minorities covered ). One woman in a wheelchair danced with the rest (disabilities covered).
   'My gran's laughing her head off, but she's got dementia!' Facebook again.
   Despite Boyle's laudable attempts to celebrate the NHS, it all seemed like the misguided glorification of a Soviet dictatorship.
   At a time when the NHS is being sold off and many hospitals built under Labour's appalling PFI schemes are under severe threat , the portrayal of a service where nurses seemed to morph into multiple Mary Poppins's was ludicrously out of touch with reality.
   The musical section was as Anglo-centric as Boyle's homage to Shakespeare and Blake. He skillfully managed to alienate many in n. Ireland , Scotland and Cymru by ignoring any rock or pop from these Celtic fringes.
    Van Morrison, the Manics, the Proclaimers.......... all totally ignored , as Boyle gave us a very English medley of music from the Beatles to Dizzee Rascal.
   Suddenly, the whole fiery extravaganza gave way to the Olympic teams, in alphabetical order.
   By then I had forgotten that it had anything at all to do with sport and was pleasantly surprised to find that there are places represented which consist only of a couple of rapidly disappearing volcanic atolls in the south Pacific.
   These islands are the size and population of Dowlais Top, yet Cymru is too small to compete as a country it seems.
   The argument about 'not being independent' seems spurious as well : how does Hong Kong have a team when it is now part of China?
    Huw Edwards added the gravitas (hasn't he been knighted yet?) with commentary on the political situations in certain countries. He failed to mention that Bahrain is run by a torturing and bloody monarch recently welcomed to her Jubilee celebrations by Mrs E. Windsor! Western-backed Saudi Arabia, where women are still treated as chattels, had a few women competitors for the first time.
  
   The Welsh footballers playing for Team Wengland in the Olympics had not sung the English national anthem; but that isn't good enough.
   They were warned by the FAW well in advance of the tournament that their inclusion could jeopardize the independence of our national association ( indeed, Sepp Blatter's recent comments have reinforced the fact that this will be a 'one off') and also that they ran the risk of injury and suspension. Both of these could seriously impair our chances of qualification for the World Cup.
   Where is rugby in the Olympics and why has football been so utterly irrelevant in the past?
   Football fans have almost unanimously treated the tournament with disdain and after this year's desperate effort to sell tickets for the large stadiums, they will do so once again.
   England regarded it with such importance that they  contributed fringe players, including the keeper Butland who wasn't even a regular choice for Birmingham City last season!

   So, I see one significant conclusion from Danny Boyle's ceremony and that is that the perception of British and English cultures as synonymous is an essentially colonialist one, in direct contradiction to the passing multi-culturalism he was claiming to exemplify. Cymraeg, Gaelic, Scots Gallic and Cornish played no part. Until Britain is  finally and irrevocably dismantled and we have political systems which fully reflect our identities , it will always be so.

                                        UNION  JACK


                             The butcher's apron's soaked in blood
                             from Ireland to Africa
                             and Llanelli to Merthyr ;
                             it hasn't yet dried out,
                             staining hands in party mood.
                             
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