Mike Jenkins - Welsh Poet & Author
  • Mike's Blog
  • New Book!
  • About Mike
  • Contact
  • What's the point?
  • The Climbing Tree
  • The Fugitive Three
  • Publications
  • Red Poets

SEAGULLS  OUT!

12/16/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture

   Wayne-O Pijin still intends to stand for Merthyr in the next General Election, despite dropping out of (or, should I say, down from) his course at the local Cooo - ollege.
   I caught up with him at his new favoured perch  at the Old Town Hall, Redhouse.
   Things haven't been going well for Pijin of late, with several scandals associated with his campaign.
   Firstly, his Campaign manager Al-Wings Jones was accused of being a Cooo-omunist when he suggested that all pigeons be allowed access to cafes , restaurants and bakeries.
  Then a photo went viral on the bird media site twitters of Wayne-o Pijin apparently smoking a joint.
   Pijin denied this immediately, saying that it was merely a long chip which was steaming as it was very hot.
   He added - 'Who needs to get high when you can fly up whenever you want?'
   Some of the stories being circulated about him he dismissed as ludicrous.
   'They claim in the press that I've had over 30 wives, yet it's a well-known fact that we pigeons couple for life. The encounter with the dirty dove was a one-off and totally in error.'
  Despite these set-backs, Pijin seems ready to take on all the major parties and demolished each one in turn.....
  'The Greens? They talk about recycling, but we go ahead and carry it out every day.
   Labour want to knock  down our Food Tubes just because we control them....a sure sign they are worried.
   The Tories would have us all shot like clay pigeons and those LibDems are just seagull spies in suits and ties.
  Plaid Cymru has a leader in favour of gun ownership....say no more!
  UKIP would shut down all the Polish shops down town, thus depriving us of the tastiest of sausage bits.
  No, Pijin Power is the only way!'
  When I accused Pijin of hypocrisy, leaving his course yet living in the eaves of the College's own Redhouse, he went into an irate flutter.
   'You accuse me of hypocrisy when the No-Wings do all they can to encourage seagulls at our expense?
   Just look at the huge landfill site? It's like a great feast for those bloody scavenging gulls....we don't get a look in!
  I then put it to Wayne-O that he was being as divisive as the very parties he was attacking.
   'No way! I've said this so many times I'm sick to the beak....we are doing the No-Wings a massive service, yet getting shat on!
   If it weren't for us they would be knee-deep in thrown-away food and vomit!
   They'd be suffocating in their own waste.'
   Finally - before flying off to a Cooo-onference entitled 'Seagulls Don't Belong Here' - Wayne-O Pijin left me with a forceful comment -
   'We're local birds, born and bred. We belong here yet we're being forced out!......Ask yourselves, is that fair?'  



                 SEAGULLS   OUT!


Seagulls with theyer fancy ways,
don' wanna be like them no more.


I'm all f co-co-co-operation,
but not with them an-a No-Wings.


They come up-a valley from Cardiff
talkin in theyer twangy tones.


They've taken over-a river
an soon it'll be the town.


They're driven us pijins t distraction,
we gotta fight f'r ev'ry crumb.


Power t the grey I say,
them white buggers look too clean.


I studied theyer psychology,
I'm an expert at Greggsology.


Them seagulls don' b'long yer :
it int yet Merthyr-Super-Mare.
   
   
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.



    Archives

    November 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010
    August 2010
    July 2010
    June 2010
    May 2010
    April 2010
    March 2010
    February 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    November 2009
    October 2009
    September 2009
    August 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from johnharveypegg, Dai Lygad, joncandy, victoriapeckham, David Holt London, aeneastudio, fromthevalleys-, Metro Centric, andymag, David Bergin Photography, villunderlondon, @markheybo, joncandy, Martin Pettitt, Between the Shadows, joncandy, johnkell, olivia.barrie, villunderlondon, Lake Worth, MittenStatePhototog, frankieleon, robynejay, joncandy, mcaretaker, Thomas Leuthard, Knight Foundation, joncandy, Joybot, brownpau, Iburiedpaul, villunderlondon, amit_gaur, abegum, simonw92, beeveephoto, Aislinn Ritchie, Shannon Green Photography, joncandy, Nick J Webb, Vish Menon, AberCJ, gcoldironjr2003, joncandy, World Can't Wait, jonl1973, Watt_Dabney, petejam70, Kerndav, MJ Klaver, joncandy, Daquella manera, spratt504, joncandy, ashleigh290, Glyn Lowe Photoworks., afanatochka, r.nial.bradshaw, themendingnews, rikkis_refuge, Matthew Straubmuller, joncandy, onnola, final gather, funktionhouse, marioanima, joncandy, Dai Lygad, joncandy, Guttorm Flatabø, brittreints, garryknight, villunderlondon, wonker, Martin Pettitt, joncandy, tnarik, AJC1, simonw92, wardyboy400, joncandy, Bombardier, joncandy, Cargo Cult, joncandy, joncandy, SeanOConnor2010, Feral78, comedy_nose, Abode of Chaos, mkairishstudies, joncandy, avail, Jörg Weingrill, Gwydion M. Williams, Leshaines123, KiltBear, eisenbahner, Capt' Gorgeous, Francis Storr, New Chemical History, Matthew Black, jc.winkler, Gwenael Kere, Karen Roe