I sincerely hope that when I wake up tomorrow morning I'll be greeted with a resounding (or even, narrow) vote of 'YES' for Scotland.
First thing I'll do will be to put on, not the rousing 'Cap In Hand' but Runrig's anthemic 'Alba' , which I played regularly in the 1980s.
I'll be singing along with Donnie Munro on the chorus (he became a Labour politician, would you believe?) and pour myself a wee dram....of orange juice!
Actually, I'm pessimistic. I feel that fear will triumph over hope and the abject negativity of the Naws with their top-down hectoring will prevail.
But even if they just win, everything will have changed.
The quite amazing groundswell of support for the 'Yes' campaign - especially from the young and the dispossessed, hitherto disenfranchised - has been a revelation.
Alex Salmond may well declare that he'll not seek another referendum in the foreseeable future, yet others may feel differently.
The vision of an independent Scotland which rejects nuclear weapons, military invasions, destructive bedroom tax and crippling cuts will not easily go away.
There have been so many excellent interviews and powerful speakers from the 'yes' side : Tommy Sheridan, Jim Sillars and Patrick Harvie to name but three.
I was impressed by actor Alan Cumming also, who had the perfect retort for a reporter who queried him when he talked about threats to the NHS and education if there was a 'No'.
Reporter : 'Surely, these have already been devolved?'
Cumming : ' Yes, but they're dependent on Westminster finance. Without the money, they can't be run properly.'
The idea that Real Labour will be elected next Spring and deal with this ,as ludicrous George Galloway argued, is a delusion.
Miliband's party are not only anti-Trade Unions , they are also pro-austerity. They will cut almost as much as the ConDems and their Councils have failed miserably to fight the cuts.
As with Cymru, Scottish politics is very different from mainstream English concerns and only a government in Edinburgh can give expression to those distinctions.
Though identity will not play a fundamental part in it, it's nevertheless interesting to see that younger people feel less tied to being British.
This is totally understandable, as the idea of Britishness has so much to do with past wars and threats, with a wealth built out of Empire.
It's also heartening to note the number of Asian Scots and English people living in Alba who've been active in the 'Yes' campaign.
Identity has always been vital to me, even if it was buried deep in my subconscious.
I only discovered people who called themselves 'British' when I went to live in n. Ireland in the 1970s.
There the Loyalists flew their Union Jacks not just in cities and towns, but on many farms and fields : claiming ownership over land they had originally 'planted', driving off the Gaelic-speaking population.
Their worship of the monarchy and fascistic attitude towards Irish Catholics (Paisley once described them as 'vermin', like a Nazi propaganda film about the Jews), represented a magnified version of what all British nationalism was about : ascendency, monarchy and jingoism.
I lived in England for most of my school years, but never came to regard myself as 'English'.
I did enjoy being part of a small village in East Anglia, though class distinctions were marked; the families of large landowners a separate breed.
Everyone defined 'English' as 'British' there......the two interchangeable.
I encountered the most appalling racism on a school trip to Aberystwyth and, looking back, wish I'd challenged it.
My fellow pupils really believed the natives lived in caves and expected them to come down like bandits! Ironically, the very same kids looted the town shops on shop-lifting missions.
Scotland, like Cymru, is generally a very open, inclusive society.....the very antithesis of the narrow UKIPers.
Anyone who confuses Scottish nationalism with British nationalism exemplified by the likes of Gordon Brown - who supported the invasion of Iraq and gave bankers a free rein - is misguided. 'Yes' wants a peace-seeking country, where the banks are put in their place not rewarded.
Much as I'd love Scotland to go further - nationalize oil companies, declare neutrality and reject the monarchy - I do believe a 'YES' tomorrow will be a huge step in the right direction.
And, in Cymru, we need a Bendigeidfran which is not one but millions : a movement to bridge the mountains.
I REMEMBER ENGLAND
I remember England :
I lived there for years,
played tennis-racket guitar
with friends to the latest Beatles.
Soon learnt to talk posh
bin my crass Cardi accent
after it was mocked ;
talk country when parents divorced.
I admit I belonged for a while
among the daughters of factory workers,
the sons of farm labourers,
even an aspiring Tory Prime Minister.
Stacked away in drawers
I kept those early poems,
secretive and never crowned.
School once 'Cynddylan..', taken by sound.
Seasons of preened cricket greens
or cowpat footie fields ;
found in the wood's wild ways
sticks of Pen Dinas, wandering games.
Holidays in Barry and Aber,
childhood leaps of streets and sea ;
I returned, instinctively, to live there,
two parts of a broken family.
First thing I'll do will be to put on, not the rousing 'Cap In Hand' but Runrig's anthemic 'Alba' , which I played regularly in the 1980s.
I'll be singing along with Donnie Munro on the chorus (he became a Labour politician, would you believe?) and pour myself a wee dram....of orange juice!
Actually, I'm pessimistic. I feel that fear will triumph over hope and the abject negativity of the Naws with their top-down hectoring will prevail.
But even if they just win, everything will have changed.
The quite amazing groundswell of support for the 'Yes' campaign - especially from the young and the dispossessed, hitherto disenfranchised - has been a revelation.
Alex Salmond may well declare that he'll not seek another referendum in the foreseeable future, yet others may feel differently.
The vision of an independent Scotland which rejects nuclear weapons, military invasions, destructive bedroom tax and crippling cuts will not easily go away.
There have been so many excellent interviews and powerful speakers from the 'yes' side : Tommy Sheridan, Jim Sillars and Patrick Harvie to name but three.
I was impressed by actor Alan Cumming also, who had the perfect retort for a reporter who queried him when he talked about threats to the NHS and education if there was a 'No'.
Reporter : 'Surely, these have already been devolved?'
Cumming : ' Yes, but they're dependent on Westminster finance. Without the money, they can't be run properly.'
The idea that Real Labour will be elected next Spring and deal with this ,as ludicrous George Galloway argued, is a delusion.
Miliband's party are not only anti-Trade Unions , they are also pro-austerity. They will cut almost as much as the ConDems and their Councils have failed miserably to fight the cuts.
As with Cymru, Scottish politics is very different from mainstream English concerns and only a government in Edinburgh can give expression to those distinctions.
Though identity will not play a fundamental part in it, it's nevertheless interesting to see that younger people feel less tied to being British.
This is totally understandable, as the idea of Britishness has so much to do with past wars and threats, with a wealth built out of Empire.
It's also heartening to note the number of Asian Scots and English people living in Alba who've been active in the 'Yes' campaign.
Identity has always been vital to me, even if it was buried deep in my subconscious.
I only discovered people who called themselves 'British' when I went to live in n. Ireland in the 1970s.
There the Loyalists flew their Union Jacks not just in cities and towns, but on many farms and fields : claiming ownership over land they had originally 'planted', driving off the Gaelic-speaking population.
Their worship of the monarchy and fascistic attitude towards Irish Catholics (Paisley once described them as 'vermin', like a Nazi propaganda film about the Jews), represented a magnified version of what all British nationalism was about : ascendency, monarchy and jingoism.
I lived in England for most of my school years, but never came to regard myself as 'English'.
I did enjoy being part of a small village in East Anglia, though class distinctions were marked; the families of large landowners a separate breed.
Everyone defined 'English' as 'British' there......the two interchangeable.
I encountered the most appalling racism on a school trip to Aberystwyth and, looking back, wish I'd challenged it.
My fellow pupils really believed the natives lived in caves and expected them to come down like bandits! Ironically, the very same kids looted the town shops on shop-lifting missions.
Scotland, like Cymru, is generally a very open, inclusive society.....the very antithesis of the narrow UKIPers.
Anyone who confuses Scottish nationalism with British nationalism exemplified by the likes of Gordon Brown - who supported the invasion of Iraq and gave bankers a free rein - is misguided. 'Yes' wants a peace-seeking country, where the banks are put in their place not rewarded.
Much as I'd love Scotland to go further - nationalize oil companies, declare neutrality and reject the monarchy - I do believe a 'YES' tomorrow will be a huge step in the right direction.
And, in Cymru, we need a Bendigeidfran which is not one but millions : a movement to bridge the mountains.
I REMEMBER ENGLAND
I remember England :
I lived there for years,
played tennis-racket guitar
with friends to the latest Beatles.
Soon learnt to talk posh
bin my crass Cardi accent
after it was mocked ;
talk country when parents divorced.
I admit I belonged for a while
among the daughters of factory workers,
the sons of farm labourers,
even an aspiring Tory Prime Minister.
Stacked away in drawers
I kept those early poems,
secretive and never crowned.
School once 'Cynddylan..', taken by sound.
Seasons of preened cricket greens
or cowpat footie fields ;
found in the wood's wild ways
sticks of Pen Dinas, wandering games.
Holidays in Barry and Aber,
childhood leaps of streets and sea ;
I returned, instinctively, to live there,
two parts of a broken family.
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